Gifted daughters…the joys and the challenges!
I’ve worked with families for over 30 years as a social worker, parent coach and researcher, but my most rewarding and challenging job EVER was raising my two daughters (now in their 30’s). As a mother of gifted children, I felt like I was basically “flying blind” trying to meet their unique educational, social and emotional needs. This situation was exacerbated by the mixed messages I received from my community. On one hand, I was told: “All kids are gifted” (and, therefore, my child shouldn’t be given any special consideration) and, conversely that: “Your child is so bright, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
However, the reality, especially for my exceptionally gifted older child, was that, in my heart, I knew that her environment was not ideal…that she had special needs I was unable to meet. I felt like a failure because I couldn’t find a challenging learning situation for her or adequately address her social and emotional issues. I often felt isolated and helpless, and worried a lot about how I was failing as a parent.
Fortunately, we somehow survived, using a piecemeal approach, desperately seeking out various counselors, therapists, extracurricular activities, tutors and a few caring educators as issues and crises arose during different developmental stages…..but I realized that having the support of a parent (AND a professional) who’s “been there and done that”, openly sharing their wisdom, support and encouragement as well as providing information on female giftedness would have been invaluable.
Therefore, this is my mission:
To let you, as a parent of a gifted daughter, know that you’re not alone, that parenting gifted girls is an incredibly special experience and can be very fulfilling but also, at times, extremely challenging, and that, working together, we can achieve your parenting ideals. My goal is to empower you as a parent, create more joy on your parenting journey, and, through our collaboration, help your daughter thrive.
I’ve been involved in child and family welfare for over 20 years as a direct services provider, board member, school and community volunteer, and a Court-Appointed Special Advocate to a child in foster care. As a PCI Certified Parent Coach, I successfully completed a 12-month graduate-level training program, and have provided over 100 hours of coaching to parents. Finally, I’ve conducted workshops regarding parenting and the use of Appreciative Inquiry in working with families. I invite you to read about the experiences of some of the parents I’ve worked with.
In addition, I’ve worked on numerous research studies, including two research projects at Stanford University, one focusing on the development of morals in children and one studying homeless families. In addition, I was the Senior Research Associate at the American Institutes for Research for various projects including self-determination in children, the effectiveness of magnet schools, and promoting opportunities for disabled students. Finally, as a Senior Analyst at Berkeley Planning Associates, I completed a four-year study of families involved in child abuse and neglect, a research project of adolescent support services, and a study regarding health care. I’m currently conducting a study to document the wisdom of parents of gifted adult females.
I am the mother of 2 adult, gifted daughters, married to a wonderful guy, and live in the San Francisco Bay Area.
- BA/Northwestern University
- MSW/University of Illinois
- CPC (Certification for Parent Coaching)/Seattle Pacific University and the Parent Coaching Institute
- SENG-Certified Parent Group Facilitator
Selected Publications and Affiliations:
- Member, Parent Advisory Committee, National Association of Gifted Children
- Stublarec, L. , “Positive Parenting Disintegration” , Parenting for High Potential, June 2010.
- Stublarec, L. , “No Fear Parenting”, Parenting for High Potential, June 2009.
- Stublarec, L. , “Parenting Wisdom from Socrates” , Parenting for High Potential, 2009.
- Stublarec, L. , “Doing Time: Growing up in the 21st Century”, The Parent Express (Parent Coaching Institute), August 2008.
- Stublarec, L. , “Homework and Motherhood”, Parenting for High Potential, June 2008
- Stublarec, L., Mitchell-Hutchinson, A., Morales, M. (1981). Client Impact Report: Evaluation of the Plaza Family Support Center. Final Report. Berkeley, CA: Berkeley Planning Associates